I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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