that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
