you guys were way drunker than both of me
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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