he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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