Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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