Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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