U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
