he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
