Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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