why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
