I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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