If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
