Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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