Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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