i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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