whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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