You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
