My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
