i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
