This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
