He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
