i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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