my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
