So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
