areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Barsexuality is the new black.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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