called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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