how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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