when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
