she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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