This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
