I think i sorta joined a cult last night
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Randomize
