At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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