If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
