Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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