i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I wear drunk well.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
