Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
