I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
