It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
