omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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