how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
