3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
