No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
