i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
