Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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