do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
