remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
