38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
