Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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