WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
