It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
