we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Boobs speak an international language.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Your cock deserves a montage
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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