Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
